May 28, 2013

Dragon Quest IV - Linguine in Mara & Nara Sauce

The chapter opens with a sassy young lass dancing her heart out to a capacity crowd in a theatre located in the quaint town of Monbaraba.  After completing her energy-packed set, which the papers would later describe as "Outstanding!", "Poetry in motion!" and "Shensational!", the sweaty Mara heads backstage to have a chat with her sister, Nara.  They continue their discussion about their pursuit of revenge on their father's killer, Ballsack.

I'd rather be murdering.

Mara and Nara feel that now the time is ripe to spring their plan into action, which consists of finding Ballsack and killing him... somehow (maybe a sharp object of some kind?).  They have obviously been quite vocal about their plans as well, since their boss and co-workers all seem to be quite up-to-date on the sisters' murderous scheme.

Have we mentioned our pursuit of revenge?

With Mara being a dancer and Nara being a fortune teller, it seems that these two lovely ladies have not quite thought their cunning plan all the way through.  Things get a little better after they cut their teeth on some slimes and giant grasshoppers.  While both are fairly weak in melee (Mara being the weaker of the two), both have access to spells, with Mara focusing on offense and Nara on defense.  Returning to their hometown of Kievs, the expositions fly as the townsfolk remind the sisters about how their alchemist father was murder by his pupil, Ballsack, after discovering a secret chemical formula.  Also, they learn that the king of Keeleon Castle was recently overthrown and the usurper is apparently conducting evil experiments.  Could there be a connection? (spoiler: there is.)  At any rate, they also learn that their father had a second pupil named Orin, who is currently hanging out in a cave because why not?  Finding him adds some much needed melee attack power to the group, plus I think both the sisters are quite fond of Orin.

*gasp* You're into revenge too?  *swoon*

Orin also tells them about the Sphere of Silence, which is able to contain spells and is key to exacting their revenge on he who is most bally of sacks.  It's located just one floor down so they get it pretty easily.  It seems like it might be a short chapter as they head straight to Keeleon Castle and have Orin literally smash open iron doors with his bare hands (*sigh*... he's sooo dreamy).  The new king is hiding somewhere and only the counsel member knows where the secret room is.  Rumour has it he's afraid of loud noises so the trio has to find some gunpowder.  While searching for a saltpeter source, they come across a most terrifying and awesome opponent.  A gang of normally easy slimes disgustingly combined their bodies to form the King of Kings, in all his muculent majesty.

All hail the glutinous one!

King Slime doesn't have anything to do with getting gunpowder, I just think he's super-keen.  The gunpowder lies somewhere in the mining town of Aktemto, which is probably the most depressing place I've been in all the DQs.  Poison gas started pouring out of the mine and has decimated the village, leaving behind a despondent population and a very sad tune.  Anxious to leave this killjoy of a town, the gang quickly recover the gunpowder and head back to Keeleon Castle to scare them some wussy council member, who VERY SLOWLY power walks to the secret door that leads to the usurper's throne room.  Surprise, surprise, the usurper is Ballsack and the sisters get the chance to revenge!

Ohhh, his name is Balzack... silly me.

With the Sphere of Silence containing Ballsie's spells, he falls quite easily — Revenge Get!!!  Unfortunately, his boss, Keeleon, shows up, chastises him, and then proceeds to smackdown all three heroes into unconsciousness.  They awake in the castle prison, which is ridiculously easy to escape from.  As they attempt to flee the castle, the alarm goes out and a swarm of soldiers come after them.  Brave, handsome Orin valiantly decides to take them all on in order to buy some precious time for Mara and Nara to escape.

Inevitably, both pairs of
panties were creamed.

The sisters don't stop running until they hit the town of Haville, where a sailing ship is getting ready to leave.  With heavy hearts, the two fugitives climb aboard and get ready to leave their homeland, quite possibly forever.  Full of apprehension and uncertainty, the sisters try their best to forget their traumatic past in this strange and foreign land.

Hey, doesn't Endor have a casino?