September 30, 2016

Jubei Quest - Wake Up Dead

Cursed undead townsfolk is the theme of this chapter and oh how I wish I could join them, maybe as a sweet lich or dracolich.  The random encounters are brutal, with a good chunk of them sporting monsies able to spank off a third of my HP with every swing.  Oh, and you bet there's group-damaging abilities in there as well and no one in the group has an all-party heal.  The best spell we have is my Hospil, which incidentally heals about a third of our max HP, which is just fantastic.  This means that not only do I spend most battles curing the crew, but afterwards everyone generally needs at least one more boost.  It doesn't help that I'm in the very front and probably've got the worst defence but there's no way I'm letting Joey Jojo Junior Shabadoo lead us, no matter how dumb a decision that is!  So this chapter is going like all the others.  Talk to some dude, get the thing, use the thing at the place to get another thing, get the useless intel from Jiro, enter the castle.

I know this is the third time I've posted one of these,
but I just like how they prove that Jirokichi
has the intellectual capabilities of a toddler.

Thankfully, this castle has no pit traps, just spikes and creepy giant hands that go up my skirt and grope me.

I ended up creeping them out after they found about
9 inches more than what they were expecting.

I'm at about 80% male at this point, so the groping actually gives me hit points back, just like in real life.  Now normally, when I explore a castle, I'll do my best to get into every nook and cranny I can find, in order to git dat loot.  This time, however, I'm just trying to get to the end ASAP cuz I'm sick of having to do multiple trips due to the brutal poundings we've been getting.  I'm also fleeing a lot more than usual to save on precious heals.  All of this, though, doesn't mean we can't stop to pop open a few coffins, although each and every one of them is trapped, which means calling on Jirokichi.

You've got balls, J.K., I'll give you that. Oh, that's
right, that's all you've got left down there.

Oh, did I say there were no pit traps?  That was a half-truth.  The final room is a bullshit trial and error path-finding nightmare, though it dumps me at the beginning of the room, not all the way out.

Argh... must... not... abuse... savestates.

My blood is boiling as I finally approach the boss and am glad that I spent all that time running away as everyone's reserves of AP are appreciably high.  In no time flat, the undead boss is out of commission and we're free to blow up the zombie generator in the next room, freeing the townsfolk from their curse.

He was practically falling apart already.

Chalk up another Cosmotron and we're off to catch another ferry into the next chapter.  Before that though, I meet the priest from Owari (from way back at the start).  As townsfolk all throughout the journey have told me, the priest has always been one step ahead of us at the next town and we've only just now caught up with him.  He asks for the Cosmotrons and I hand them over without a second thought.  In the next town I meet the real Owari priest, who is rightfully pissed that I've just pooched the whole quest in the blink of an eye.

I may just have doomed the entire world,
but there's no need for such language.

The imposter that took the Cosmotrons shows up and reveals its true self, which is a flying demon or something.  It literally bombs the life out of the priest, leaving the rest of us unscathed.  The priest tells me that he's been raising an army to fight Dr. Main but they suck without a strong leader so now it's on me to lead them to victory.  I hope it's the final chapter because I'm running out of ways to make fun of Jiro and Jubei.  At any rate, I'll try to make this posting at least seem longer by including another 2 minute monstage.