August 26, 2015

Doraemon - End Game

(*Oh yeah, before I forget, that suspicious spot from my first post did indeed have a use, as it served as a warp point to a new area at some point in the story.)

A good reason to stick out any game to the very end is that sometimes, just sometimes, a flailing, floundering start can evolve into merely drunken stumbling.  Some of the aspects I bitched about in the first post improved by a minuscule amount; the shitty game is now just a crappy one.  I even felt better about Doraemon's malice towards me (even though I started it), as he's pretty much a dick to everybody.

Jesus, dude, take a chill pill.  We're helping you.

I do like how some of Doraemon's friends are just so used to his churlish attitude that they just roll with it.  In addition to Doraemon, the one other thing that didn't change was the random dispersal of items via the pretext of conversations.  Most just say one short sentence and then give up the goods, but others have taken it to a whole other level.

Behold the crown prince.

Other items were found in towns consistently in the same spot — an empty house, all which shared the exact same floor plan, with two chests in the back.  While usually nothing too interesting was found here, I did find one item that allowed me to rectify a past missed opportunity to make a poop joke.

And now that I'm able to, I can't decide
on which one to use.  Oh, the irony!

Within the towns, a few of the folks decided to upgrade themselves and give actual useful information, with directions and everything!  Not that it mattered too much since the path between any two towns is pretty linear (any branching soon leads to a dead end).  Still, I appreciated the effort, at least in contrast to the far-fetched nonsense of what most people had to say.

Because of course they are.  Classic ninja technique.

Combat became a bit more fun as the monster difficulty increased significantly, forcing everyone to start using their gold-consuming items more regularly.  A fourth party member was also added, giving access to more available spells during fights.  I never found anything other than cheap potions to purchase, so we all opened our wallets and let loose with the item usage.  Even while letting the good times roll, we still made a tidy profit after each excursion.  Doraemon continued to be frightened of any rodents, but it's not like I gave him any of the crucial spell items anyway.

At least be scared of something worthy,
like that pants-staining Tyranos.

The story trudged along in all its trainwrecked glory.  Perhaps knowledge of the show is needed here, but the strands keeping everything bound together are flimsy at best.  At one point, I went back in time to ancient Japan to rescue a crew member named Lila.  After beating up the things that needed to be beaten, the lady we got our quest from told us that Lila had already went to her home in the present.

I guess she walked back, huh?

Eventually, doing enough of those shaky quests landed us at Giga Zombie's butt-ugly castle where we had to endure a gauntlet of boss fights.  And you know what that means...

Time for a... uhm... bosstage?

By the way, Girzon up there is actually the end boss, not Zombi.  He shows up right near the end to show that he's the real boss (what a twist!), says that we're too weak to fight him, leaves, and then we fight him within the next few minutes.  After destroying Girzon, some dialogue happens with Giga Zombie concerning stuff and things, and then its off to the credits where we're treated to a rare glimpse of Doraemon being happy.

He's as happy as I am that the game is over.