February 13, 2013

[Game 032] Glory of Heracles II: Titan's Downfall (NES - 1989)

Translation by toma and friends

Strangely enough, this translated sequel to the first game was available over a decade ago; the first was translated just last year.  As Heracles had ascended into Heaven at the end of the last part, this time I'm downloaded into a blank meatslab and can rightfully claim my proper name of Shen, hero among heroes.  In the grand hero tradition, I must start at the bottom tier of being a common peasant.  The queen of our city has requested that all able-bodied men are to suit up for the current war (which I guess we are losing).  We are fighting against the obviously propaganda-generated Lord of Darkness whose goblins are torturing the citizens.  Well, I think I can handle a few goblins (they only have HD 1-1, after all).

Uh, goblins are a far cry
from bloody TITANS!

Well, geez, if I'm going to be taking on titans, I'm going to need the bestest of all equipments.  Luckily, my grandmother decked me out with a sword and shield that grandfather found in the mountains some time ago.

"I made sure to store them in a warm and
damp place with plenty of ventilation."

Taking pity on my poor, senile grandmother, I decided not to wring her tiny, frail neck and headed out to see how many creatures I could infect with my mighty Sword of Tetanus.  The queen had ordered me to go to Athens and speak with the famous poet, Homer, but nuts to her — I needed experience and gold to replace this embarrassing equipment.

♫ Show... no... shame.  Now shake it, baby.

Homer wasn't in Athens anyway but I did meet a kid named Icarus who was hurt up real bad.  He had been flying around in some winged contraption his father, Daedalus, built but he got too close to the sun and the wax bindings melted.  Icarus should have known better than to trust someone who always wears a hooded robe and rocks a moustache that just screams out villain (even if it is his father).  I'm suppose to go find Daedalus in the nearby town of Selen and inform him of his son's big fuckup.  I've been demoted from common soldier to common delivery boy by the big city of Athens.  My crappy weapon does nothing to inspire these people to have faith in me.  I must look like such a peasant to these fine, upstanding nobles.  Oipho, did I even remember to bathe before coming here?  What a joke I am.

Yes, sir.  Right away, sir.
Thank you very much, sir.

Daedalus was nowhere to be found in Selen; I was told he was off searching for some item.  Whatever, I tried.  I ditched the Rust Master 2000 and purchased a shiny new dagger and set about just doing my own thang.  In a small northern village, I found Homer who laid some knowledge on me about how to go about defeating the Dark Lord (hint: it involves Heracles).  I also witnessed a bunch of kids harassing a centaur that they had half-buried in the ground.  I couldn't actually talk to the centaur as the kids surrounded him and I guess my new dagger wasn't having the effect I thought it would.  I came back later that night and dug him up because, I too, know what it's like to have to dwell on the shit-tier of civilization.  The centaur told me of a fabulous treasure in a nearby cave, which sounded great until he let slip one little detail.

THE Cerberus?!  I hope he has a
weakness versus normal daggers.

The battle with Cerberus was tough because he often got two attacks in a round and if both hit, it did more damage than I could heal to myself in a single round (not to mention that if I'm healing myself, I'm not attacking).  After a bunch of attempts trying to get lucky with my dodging, I ground out a few levels and this helped me to evade enough attacks to finally dispatch the beast.  Sifting through the pile of Shen bodies yielded no treasure and a very ticked off Nung returned to give the centaur what for.

Instead, he somehow ended
up accompanying me.

He asked me for a new name and I just couldn't say no to those cute, stubby legs of his.  In any case, all was soon forgiven as the centaur turned out to be quite a decent fighter and user of magicks.  I spent some golds to outfit him with equipment similar to my own and soon we were on a boat, heading off to the next island and the next adventure.

Abrax is full of win.